Ensure I have consent before having sex with someone

Getting consent before sex is non-negotiable. Not sure how it looks or sounds, or not sure why it even matters? Follow the guide below to learn all about consent.


To understand what consent is and how to make sure you have it before you have sex with someone.

Let's start with why this is important:

  • asking for and obtaining consent makes your sexual relationships safe, respectful and ensure everyone enjoys themselves
  • remember if consent is not given by all partners involved in the sex it is sexual violence

You should have sex with someone you are attracted to and only once you both consent. If sex is happening without your permission it is a crime. If someone is forcing themselves onto you or manipulating you to have sex, this is an offence. 

If you have experienced any of the following: 

  • forced, unwanted sex and/or sexual acts or touching including from a partner, friend or relative
  • touching your body without consent such as grabbing your bottom or breasts.

you are a victim of sexual assault. 

Here is a list of services that can support you if you are ready to reach out:

1800 RESPECT call 1800 737 732, a confidential 24 hour hotline for anyone who has experienced sexual assault or domestic violence

SEXUAL ASSAULT CRISIS LINE VICTORIA call 1800 806 292, a confidential 24 hour hotline for anyone who has experienced sexual assault

NATIONAL DISABILITY ABUSE AND NEGLECT LINE call 1800 880 052, a confidential 24 hour hotline to report abuse and neglect of disabled people

LIFELINE call 13 11 14

What to do next

Here is a list of signs that your partner does not understand consent

  • not paying attention to you, only doing what feels good for them and ignoring what you want
  • They tell you what you’re going to do without asking how you feel about it. For example: “We’re going to [do this sex act] tonight,” or “Do this.”
  • They move your hands or body to where they want them, without checking with you first.
  • They don’t ask before touching you.
  • Your partner ignores you when you say no or express hesitation.
  • They ignore boundaries you’ve set before. For example, they “forget” to put on a condom after you talked about using protection

Test your consent knowledge

Consent is when you give and get agreement before taking part in any kind of sexual activity with someone else.  See how much you know about consent by taking this quiz.

More Information & Services

Sex and the law

Legal Aid Victoria's guide to all things sex and the law

Taking action against someone who sexually assaulted you

Reachout's guide of what to do when you have been sexually assaulted


Information from 1800 Respect on consent

All Relationships